Called „turnkey children“ because of the telltale key hanging around their necks, these children go home to an empty house after school or stay home alone in the summer. Some states, like California, offer little advice because there is no minimum age for children to be left home alone. The majority of states with laws cite 12 years as the limit, while some states are younger, including Maryland and Georgia at 8 and Kansas at six. Every teenager is different and you know your child better than anyone. Trust your intuition when you decide to leave them home alone overnight. „Whaaat? It`s crazy,“ says Bethany Cardwell, a mother of two under 7 who lives in Discovery Bay. „I can`t imagine leaving children under the age of 10 alone. I can`t imagine that. While it`s a good idea to review your local laws, don`t base your decision solely on your teen`s age. Some 17-year-olds are capable and responsible enough to be home alone at night, but others may be too impulsive or inclined to peer pressure to be willing to take on responsibilities.

All of these questions and many more can cross your mind as you think about the choice to make. Despite the potential risks, allowing your teen to stay home alone can actually be an important step in their development. Social expectations also play a role. Cardwell, Discovery Bay`s mother, remembers the neighbors` reaction when they learned that a 5-year-old girl had been left home alone. Although the child seemed satisfied with the arrangement, many neighbors felt compelled to keep an eye on her. The crucial point is that every child is different and everyone reaches the independence phase at different ages. This is one of the reasons why child psychologist Lisa Whitfield recommends promoting independence in children. This could include leaving her alone for short periods of time, starting at age 6 and gradually increasing the duration as she ages, but she cautions against expecting routine self-care.

If you`ve considered all of the above factors and are still worried about leaving them alone, it may be best to arrange for them to stay with someone else while you`re away. Finally, if it`s necessary to leave children home alone — at least if older children are involved — you can follow these recommendations: Many parents assume California has a law that states when a child is old enough to be left home alone, but that`s not the case. At this point, California lawmakers leave the decision to parents. The problem is that the absence of a fixed age does not exempt parents from being charged with criminal negligence if something happens to the child while he or she was home alone. Consider finding a place for your siblings while leaving your teen home alone a few times before letting their siblings babysit the children overnight. In general, most teens under the age of 16 are not mature enough to stay home alone overnight. But it`s important that you base your decision on your individual teen. Another East Bay mother, Liz Shipsides, once briefly left her 9-year-old son home alone while dropping off his siblings at school.

She came home and found that he had barricaded himself in her room out of sheer terror. All the parents were already there. You have to run fast around town to pick up something like a gallon of milk, a dentist appointment, or something at work. You don`t want to bring your child, but you`re not sure you can legally leave them at home. It is important to note that no two children are the same and parents must decide on a case-by-case basis what is best for their child. Therefore, in addition to the general guidelines listed above, a parent or caregiver should consider the following before leaving a child home alone: It`s one thing for a 16-year-old to stay home alone for the night, but it`s completely different for them to care for younger siblings. „Even if you had to leave your 10-year-old home for an hour while you`re at a doctor`s appointment, there are reasons why you wouldn`t want the same child to have to be left alone every day during the summer,“ says Whitfield, a professor of developmental psychology at Santa Clara University. That`s „a lot of self-monitoring you can ask of these kids.“ California lawmakers believe it should be up to parents to decide at what age their child is responsible enough to take care of themselves when home alone. States that have laws have set this age at 10 to 12 years.

Child care experts are quick to point out that it should be determined from one child to another. Keep in mind that if your child is in trouble because you left them home alone, the law could hold you criminally and civilly liable for their actions. For Cook, the confidence of being home alone taught him to rely on himself early on. He believes it has given him an edge in life. It`s also worth noting that there`s a big difference between leaving a ten-year-old house alone by rushing to the store and leaving them alone while you spend the night with friends. It can be difficult to decide when your teen is mature enough to be left home alone for the night. Will your child make good choices? Do they feel comfortable being alone during the night? What if something goes wrong and you`re not there to help? Related Articles Lifestyle | Bay Area Parents: Summer Daycare Can you afford to | Lifestyle: A theatre critic`s dream becomes a lifestyle | in „The Lion King“ Trampled Underfoot A Mother`s Confession: Toddlers Aren`t the Only Ones Suffering from Separation Anxiety What should they do with their little ones all day? If grandparents are not an option, if both parents work crazy hours and money is tight, the norm in this country of astronomical housing costs, it can be a real stumbling block. Summer camp is the usual route, but it can cost you a package. The average day camp costs about $304 per week, according to the American Camp Association, while an overnight camp costs about $700 per week on average, and specialized camps are even higher. Letting your teen run the house for a few hours while you shop is very different from leaving them home alone overnight.

There are certain considerations you need to consider when deciding if they are ready for this big step. But before you decide to insist that your teen go to his grandmother`s house for the night or allow her to stay home alone, here are some things you might want to consider. She also warns that children who stay home alone lack a lot of educational and social growth through summer activities and lose a sense of connection to a wider community beyond their parents. Tamsin Ing, who has two children, Ollie, 6, and Charlotte, 10, knows all too well the challenges of being left home alone. Since she spent her childhood as a turnkey child of a single mother, she decided that her children wouldn`t pass that too. Few states have laws that clearly set the minimum age at which you can leave your children home alone. Most states allow parents to make the final decision. When thinking about your teen`s ability to stay home safely alone overnight, ask yourself the following questions: Only a few states give a legal age to leave a child home alone, including Maryland (8) and Illinois (14). However, most states have guidelines with the Department of Health and Human Services or other child welfare agencies that test a child`s ability to be left home alone. Factors may include the age and maturity of the child, the general safety of the environment or circumstances, and the precautions taken to ensure the child`s safety.

Experts say one of the easiest ways to tell a child might be willing to do it alone for a short time is to ask. Most children will answer honestly. The signs that a child is scared and not yet ready are the desire to turn on all the lights, make the television roar or have nightmares. If your teen is able to be home alone for long periods of time and is able to come home regularly during their curfew, they may be willing to stay home alone all night. Deborah Lohse was left home alone with her two brothers after school, starting in fourth grade. She remembers a lot of bickering and a „boat full of Brady Bunch.“ She and her brothers were also tasked with preparing dinner before their people came home. But she doesn`t feel comfortable letting her 10-year-old daughter do the same. If they blow it up and break the rules, you need to follow all the consequences you`ve discussed with your teen before leaving them alone. While you`ll probably be disappointed in them (and they may be disappointed in themselves), I hope it will be a learning experience too. „I`m probably one of those moms who would panic if they left my child home alone,“ says Joy Steuerwald, a Fremont mother who has a shabby 6-year-old son, Harrison. „Twelve seems to be very good.“ The best thing you can do is slowly give your teen extra responsibilities. Take precautions to prepare your teen to stay home alone overnight.

From a practical point of view, you can also leave your teenager alone at home. As teens get older, they`re less likely to want to accompany you on every trip or vacation.